{She Said} Just When I Thought I Was Weird

In lieu of a fabulous date actually on Valentine’s Day (we don't really care for crowds), the other night we treated ourselves to Melting Pot. As this was a spur-of-the-moment sort of thing, we did not have reservations so we had to wait at the bar for an available table. We sat next to a middle aged gentleman and after about 10 minutes he was joined by a lady friend quite a bit younger than him. As he got up and embraced her he did a loud inhale through the nose and then whispered in his best creepy voice that this lady friend “smelled wonderful” and followed that with a few moan/grunt things. It was disgusting and after they sat back down at the bar and I was able to turn my attention away from the cute couple, I noticed Matt laughing as quietly (yet uncontrollably) as possibly. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one to see the absurdity of this display.

A few minutes later, the waitress informed the fragrant duo that their table was ready. In response the man rose and helped the aromatic lady up. Then, as he gestured to her coat, he said “let me carry this for you,” (to which I think- that is mighty gallant of you) but as he said that turned to the waitress and asked if there was a coat check. A COAT CHECK!?!? Where do you think you are buddy- Michigan, Iceland, Vancouver (holla Olympics)? We live in Texas- no self respecting restaurant is going to waste precious table space on a room that they might only have occasion to use approximately 10 days a year. This isn’t the Country Club- look for a hook on the wall and if it isn’t there, just improvise. May I suggest the back of a chair or folded gently on the seat next to you. Either way, you don’t earn points for asking for the coat check- you just look like a doofus that is trying and failing WAY too hard. Be cool man.

The night can pretty much be summed up in sensory couple being the first in a string of characters we got to interact with. First off, the food was great, as always, and Matt ate the best Caesar salad he has ever had. The waiter spilled everything he brought us in some form or fashion but not in a disturbing way, more of a entertaining way- a couple pieces of cheese here, a little broth there. He was a (not intentionally) goofy guy. The lady behind us got a little (a lot) tipsy and talked loudly for half of the meal about how awful her husband is and that he is in therapy to try and be saved from his awfulness but that she is going to divorce him when the kid is in kindergarten anyway. And then there was magician Mike. I am really glad he never came to our table only to take my attention away from all of the other characters around us. We really had fun. The Melting Pot- not just a name insinuating fondue but also a name insinuating an unmatched mix of people.