{She Said} We're Talking About Feelings

I do want Zach to be able to read this later and know that he is wanted and loved but I also want to be pretty frank with how I’m feeling… conflicted. While excitement abounds about the new family member’s arrival, there is a passing sadness about the end of the Matt and Jen only era. The reason for this sadness (and what Zach needs to know) is because his parents love each other and enjoy being together so much that the change is a bit scary.


We have talked about Zach (then just refered to as having a baby) since the beginning of Matt and Jen (seriously, I think I outlined my 10 year plan to Matt the day we met and Zach is arriving only a year off schedule). All that being said, there is this- I have longed for motherhood for most of my life. In that vein, I have mothered or attempted to mother many people in my life waiting and preparing for the day Zach comes so that I am as good as I can possibly be for him. I hope I live up to what he deserves and I hope I am the mother to Matt’s son that Matt has always wanted.

This is an exciting and scary time- how wonderful that those two can exist together in the same moment and that together they make that moment perfect.