{She Said} Adventures at SAM’s

I’ve written about it before and here I am again with another ridiculous tale of bulk buying bozos.

During the Christmas season, we embarked upon SAMs because I like to get ribbon there (so much for so little), they always have some interesting decorations for reasonable prices, and we probably needed toilet paper.

So, after selecting the ribbons that coordinated with my wrapping, I was browsing the other holiday décor and gifts and Matt was letting Z run around. I left my cart at the end of an aisle as there was an aisle hog in the middle of it and I wanted to be able to navigate freely. On a side note, you have to be pretty talented to be an aisle hog at SAM’s… their aisles are big enough to fit a double wide so if you can manage to stretch your (not so tiny) body and (overflowing) cart across it, you MIGHT need to reassess your submission for “polite SAMs shopper of the year.”

Anyway, Matt finally caught up with me as I was squeezing past the aisle hog and had some purchases with him so I pointed toward the cart and he looked at me like I was crazy. THERE WAS NO CART. SOMEONE HAD STOLEN MY CART… WITH MY STUFF IN IT. So I had some thoughts. Maybe they got confused… no, because it had some pretty specific things in it. Maybe they needed a cart so they removed my stuff and went about their business. No, my stuff isn’t anywhere to be seen.

So, we replaced the cart and the stuff and moved on to the clothes section, always keeping one eye out for the stolen cart and wares. Finally, as I was digging through some hoodies (that, in the end were all XXL- in hindsight, I should have pointed them out to the aisle hog) I saw it. There, being pushed around the bathrobes was MY cart with MY wares and the lady’s purse thrown on top of it all. She was just pushing it around as if it was her own. I quickly texted Matt to tell him that what was once lost was now found. Right about then, the lady’s thug boyfriend approached so I decided to not confront.

More thoughts… did she walk up to my cart and think it was hers? Did she walk up to my cart and think, “oh, I LOVE this stuff” and take it on as her own (in which case, I must say that I will take that as a feather in my cap in terms of my prowess in picking ribbon)? Was she going to go about her business and then, at check out, innocently proclaim that she had decided not to buy MY stuff?

Whatever it was… someone barely missed a brawl that day.