(Katie Said) Another Mom's Decision to Go Back to Work

The decision of whether to work this next year or not has been a long agonizing one. I love my career and I LOVE my child. I just can't see myself not teaching right now. I believe I will be a better mommy, at this point, if I am still able to work. I know that sounds weird but I just feel I will need some professional time away to be more engaged at home. I see this as an extended transision into stay-at-home mommihood. We'll see. Here is my cousin's story of her decision to work. You can find more insight and a lot of daily whimsy on her blog, schultzpartyoffour.blogspot.com

I am a working mom of two little girls, currently 4 and 6 years old. My husband and I came to the conclusion that I would work and he stay home with the girls mainly for financial reasons. It was important to us that one of us be home with the girls during the day, and since my earning potential was substantially more, it made sense that I would be the one to work. Of course, this all sounds very straightforward but in fact was and still is a complicated decision.
 
On the home front, I truly believe the girls are getting an amazing opportunity by spending so much quality time with their dad. My husband is smart about his parenting, patient in his discipline and talented in his teaching. The girls go to the zoo or library, do art, read books and take an occasional trip to QT for hot dogs for lunch. On the flip side, however, few applaud a man who is not "providing for his family" through the traditional means of bringing home a paycheck. For us this has not been a big hindrance, but certainly the societal pressure is something to consider for dads who may want to try the "stay-at-home" route.
 
For me, balancing work and home has been challenging. When other mothers are meeting for play dates or attending school parties, I feel the tug of guilt that assures me I am scarring my children for life. When I see the photos my husband took at the zoo that day, I do get sad that I wasn't there to marvel at the polar bear with the rest of them. But the reality of bills and budgets reminds me that my girls are enjoying many things that I am able to do while I am both with them, and working to provide for them.
 
To be very honest, for many years I lamented my situation having to work while my husband stayed home. While I did not think my children were suffering, and in fact thriving with our situation, it was "me" I felt sorry for. However, in the last year I have begun to realize that this has been ideal for all of us. My over-achiever personality is able to capitalize in the corporate environment, something that may have suffocated my children as I would have expected much from our day-to-day time if I stayed home. My husband's patient and gentle nature means a reasonable pace and schedule that allows for plenty of imaginative play and quality time with Daddy. And while I hate to miss a minute of the short time children are little, I am continually grateful for a good job during these very difficult financial times for so many. In fact, the less time I spend feeling sorry for myself, the more I growing to enjoy my career and see the benefits I am gaining from this time away from home.
 
For any parent wondering what to do about childcare and working outside the home, I would encourage them to discuss expectation with their spouse. What do you want life to look like? How much will that cost? Can you live on one income? What do days at home with the children look like? These kind of questions can determine into what your family values and what values you want to pass on to your children. Its not an easy decision, but certainly there is not a right or wrong answer, just a process to be evaluated as you go.